Female to male for the wins and fails

theselfmademen:

Basic Respect for Transsexuals

• Please use language that corresponds to my gender identity, even if my body does not seem to match, and even when talking about my past.
• If you are still adjusting to my transition, it is normal to make mistakes with pronouns. Don’t draw attention to it. Just correct yourself and carry on.
• A transsexual woman is a male-to-female. A transsexual man is a female-to-male. It is never the other way around. Though sometimes it is referred to as male-to-male, or female-to-female because individuals may not have ever identified as the opposite gender and don’t see it as a transition from one to the other, rather an alignment of body and mind.
• Don’t assume my gender identity defines my sexual orientation. Who I am attracted to is totally separate from my gender. If I am a transsexual man who likes men, treat me no differently than any other gay man. 
• Don’t expect me to conform to stereotypes of my gender. I wear clothes I like and I have a variety of interests, just like everyone else. There is no need to point out which of my behaviors are “boy actions” and “girl actions”.
• Please don’t use my old name or ask what it was. Instead of saying “back when you were _____” or “when you were a girl” say “before you came out as a man” or “prior to your transition”. 
• Don’t use my name in the 3rd person as if I was someone else, i.e. “Are you dressing as Jack now?”
• If you use the word transsexual (or trans), it’s better to use it as an adjective to describe a person, not as a noun, i.e. trans people, trans man, trans woman. 
• Don’t assume that I have chosen to be a transsexual person. The only choice I have made is whether or not to accept my situation and fix it to live a healthier life as I see fit. 

(via exorcistor)

Things we want to forget: “You have to understand that this is really difficult for me.”

Situational and Transitional Respect for Transsexuals

theselfmademen:

 Transitional Respect For Transsexuals

• Use the word “transition” to describe what I am going through or went through.
• The changes I make to my body are not cosmetic, but rather reconstructive. Having a body I am comfortable with is vital to my health.
• Please don’t openly talk about my genitals any more than you would for a cisgender person.
• If I am a transsexual guy getting top surgery, then I am not “getting my breasts removed” I am getting chest reconstruction.
• Don’t immediately assume that genital sexual reassignment/realignment surgery (SRS) is my priority. Every transsexual person is unique and chooses different steps during their transition, based on many factors. Not everyone wants SRS.

 Situational Respect For Transsexuals

• I am not here to shock anyone or get attention. I’m just a person like anyone else, and I have a right to be healthy and live in my honest gender.
• If I have trusted you enough to share with you that I am a transsexual person, please keep it private. I will “out” myself to others if I choose to, when I’m ready.
• If I am visibly gender varient, or I don’t “pass” well, and I am out as a transsexual person, it’s ok to educate your friends about pronouns, before meeting me in person. I.e. “Please use male/female pronouns…”
• Please don’t introduce me as your transsexual friend.
• Don’t ask me to explain my life story or gender situation to people I’ve just met.
• Ask permission before displaying old, pre-transition photos of me if the situation calls for sharing such things.
• If you are unsure what to do or say in a specific situation, please ask and I’ll help you out.